Ugh, another day of getting nowhere it seems. I should clarify from my previous posts, my friends did say I was a bit ahead of the curve for my transition, but they also said the transition takes a year or more. That may be, but it better improve along the way.
Today was very productive for me but equally disheartening. It's clear that I have no place here and spend most of my time being ignored by both professional and personal contacts. People out here sign right up to take your number or give you theirs and then disappear, never to be heard from again. I prefer the East Coast method of only releasing that info when you want to, and then following through once you do.
As I sat through another day of the cold shoulder, I kept myself busy with laundry, cleaning, organizing my things, cooking, searching for jobs, etc. To no avail it seems, but it's not like I can give up on those activities, despite being in oblivion. I'm having a hard time reconciling my patience and view of the long haul with the overwhelming frustration of getting dicked around and ignored. I had an idea to start a specific daily/weekly journal to take stock of the little things that are happening, most of which are highlighted on this page. I need to find some better methods to keep me afloat.
Anyway, as my phone remained silent all day, I went off to the movies to find solace. Yesterday I missed a turn and discovered The Ken, which is the last single screen theatre in San Diego. Built in 1946, the second theatre purchased by what is now the Landmark chain, I was thrilled to see the classic marquee in the distance. Better yet, they were showing Centurion, which I've been looking forward to seeing.
I brought along my camera knowing I'd be there near magic hour. The area near the theatre has a couple of nice restaurants and cafes. The Ken also has an accompanying video store specializing in foreign and obscure films, along with a cocktail lounge. I look forward to future visits.
My mood upon arrival could best be described as seething, though I was happy to experience a new theatre. No classical adornments within, it's not a majestic old movie house. But they do things the right way, the focus is on the film that's showing. I love how they put the movie's tagline up on the marquee.
It took awhile for the film to wrest me out of my roiling consternation, but there's no doubt that this is a film worth seeing. Fast paced, absorbing, all shot on (beautiful) location. The movie injects a very even tempered view of history so you have no overriding loyalty to either side. In that way, it was a bit like the terrific Flesh & Blood, with more Apocalypto and The Road Warrior thrown in. Good movie. I walked out feeling much better than I did when I went in.
Next stop, Walmart. And it was packed at 9:30 on Tuesday night. I picked up some hangers and paper towels, couldn't find a plunger (good thing I don't need it at the moment), but as Meatloaf sang, two out of three ain't bad.
Wasn't quite ready to wind down another day in isolation, so I went down towards Garnet, though I didn't really want to drink or spend any money, but I didn't want to go home, either. I parked on the quieter end of the street, and found myself staring up at a place I had no idea existed, La Costa Brava. I didn't go in at first, the place was well obscured by high, thick hedges, and I got the idea it was more a restaurant than a bar and figured they were about to close. I walked up a few blocks but felt no inclination to go further. I went back and stopped into La Costa Brava.
Lo and behold, a true Spanish restaurant. There were only a few other people there, but right away I found myself in discussion with the bartender, Ruben, who is a madrileno. The restaurant has an array of Spanish bottled beers, from Catalonia, Gallicia, etc, but they do not have the most popular Spanish beer, Mahou. The bartender opened up to me when I asked for it, it's his favorite beer, and right away we were speaking Spanish and talking about Madrid. Turns out he used to work at the Institute where I studied. Plus, hearing the madrileno accent was so comforting, and I instantly tapped into the vein that's been too long dormant, from what was really the happiest time in my life (I really hope that soon changes to, 'one of the best times of my life'). And how about this, on Tuesday nights there's a discussion group that meets to hang out and speak Spanish. I met a few of the people and am invited to go back. I wish they were meeting tomorrow. It was so nice to find a connection to something so dear in this obscure place. We were able to talk about different cities with a mutual understanding, something that has been few and far between out here. I also met another guy, who was not in the Spanish group, but who was very nice and offered to hang out and see if he has any connections to help my job search. Here we go again. It felt nice at the time, and the guy seems genuine, but I'm learning that soon I will be able to have a better read on what is real and what is not, which I know will serve me well in the next phase of my life.
In any case, it felt nice to end a shitty day on a positive note. And it was worth the five bucks for the beer. Let's see what tomorrow has in store.
No comments:
Post a Comment