Hunter's Moon

Tonight at around nine thirty marks the Hunter's Moon, the one that is bright enough for the farmers to reap their crops under the moonlight. Full moons bring strange dreams and odd things, and this one is fulfilling its role. I thought being out here, under the sun, next to the water, I could somehow stave off darkness. Not so.

Here in Southern California, Halloween is promoted like Christmas, because it heralds a change, a moment, a day, a mood, a sentiment. Maybe I should say mindset. Halloween is a big holiday, but you can't go ten feet out here without seeing decorations, a store that has changed its entire inventory to costumes, or a promotion for a party. It is all consuming. I've already had a couple Halloween plans fall through. I expect this is in preparation for some fantastic last minute party. We'll see.

This morning, everything seemed bright and gleaming. Somehow, something in the afternoon turned it all to gloom, confusion, and doom. When that happened I went to the bay, which was a good move. A pelican flew right by me, the thing was really moving out, that's unusual. I saw lots of dogs. I was down there for two hours as the sun set, unfortunately obscured by clouds. I walked into the ocean which was wonderfully warm. I discovered the filling moon, which explains the dreams and the precipitating mood. Not just for me but for many. I came out here in order to break from the life I saw unfolding for me without a change. Now I have no clue what lies in store. Just have to keep going and realize what will be. Which cannot be determined.

At a second interview today astutely pointed out that I was at a crossroads. He was at a similar one when he was 32, except he'd been working in a fish cannery at the time. John Sayles worked in a fish cannery after graduating from Williams. 10 years ago I saw him as some sort of role model, and my life right now could not be farther from that type of success. Funny how life twists and turns and goes astray. I'd much rather write movies than be a financial planner. Have a movie idea at the moment, but that's not going to pay any bills in the immediate future. Music seems to perk people's interest. My singing and playing are really improving, but I need to get better at keys and programming. And that's not going to pay any bills any time soon either. But I'm going to keep doing it.

All my eggs are in this basket. I put 'em there. Can't let 'em break.

Full moons bring weirdness in their anticipation, but they also herald new beginnings. So that means a new door opening. May it lead to brighter days for one and all.

Songs for the day, both are worth it: