Many Rivers To Cross

As for today, one of the busiest days I’ve had here. 2 interviews, one on Camino Del Rio, of course (that’s where I’ve had easily a dozen interviews so far), and the other in La Jolla. Then over to Point Loma for an orientation of sorts for the job I did get as an actor/merchandiser (from Saturday's audition). I have a 6 page single spaced script to be fully memorized in one week, so once I do that we’ll talk more about the job. Just thinking right now, 3 different areas, only about a 15 mile radius, but I covered all of it in a reasonable amount of time. If I were doing the same thing in Los Angeles, we’d be factoring in an extra hour or even two to do all of that. Big reason why I chose San Diego.

Both interviews (one for financial planning, the other for marketing) went well, neither job is for me. One seems very good, the other very bad, I’m sure I would get hired doing either. I’m still planning to follow through on at least one as I think it’s worth it to build up my network. More important, finally, after months of futility, I’m starting to get some better meetings.

Back to Crown Point for a bit to check in on the home front, which had been weighing on my mind all day and for weeks before that. Mom sounded good. Sounds like some rays of sunshine came through this lingering cloud. Mom deserves the best, she is loved and needed. Very happy to know that we have a positive foundation to build on to move through this ugly cloud.

Went off to my final yoga class at Power Core Fusion, a studio whose name sounds like the title of an action movie. The free, week long pass was given to me by a bartender I met a couple weeks ago who is training to be an instructor. The classes were terrific. Great energy, excellent workout, tremendous spirit. And fantastic music. As these clouds have hung over San Diego, music has become even more important and meaningful. The music in each and every class was first rate, and some selections are included below. All songs I have already, but hearing them in this environment helped strengthen the connection. Also, the male: female ratio in each class was about 1:7, so perks all around. And even though in one pose tonight I felt my left leg almost pop out of its socket, I had a wonderful time and found some peace, clarity, and positivity. I went by later tonight to thank the bartender, she was happy to hear that I had such a good experience. If she hadn't suggested that to me a couple weeks ago, my past week would have been very different.

Quick side note on music, earlier today I was driving along Mission Boulevard which borders the shoreline. I was rolling along in my suit and the radio began to play Katy Perry's "California Girls." I don't think there is anyone in the country over the age of 14 who isn't now totally annoyed by this song, even if at one point they liked it. But, somehow, I haven't heard it in a few weeks. So I was pumped and cranked it up. Windows down, cruising. I hit a stop light and came alongside a weary and very defeated man sitting on the corner, alongside his wheelchair and, seemingly, all of his earthly possessions. I must have looked like the epitome of carefree materialism. I knew I had exactly $1 in cash in my pocket. I pulled the car over and gave it to him. He smiled at me.

Good day today. As my mom said to me earlier, let’s keep this momentum moving ahead.

Enjoy the songs below...

Some Rest, Reflection, Renewal

The sun has not shined on San Diego for over a week. Last Sunday was brilliantly sunny and warm. Since then, it has been cloudy and cool every day, without variation. So, the tone here is a bit different. Nevertheless, there is still beauty to be found underneath the clouds.

Discovering that what I always considered mist passes for rain out here. With that acceptance, I was able to walk in the rain last night in Pacific Beach, and today in Little Italy. No need for an umbrella (which I never cared for anyway) or even a hood, though my hair did get a bit frizzy. I did see some people seeking refuge under store canopies and awnings, that just made me smile. Spent the afternoon back at the apartment and checked in with a couple of my neighbors. I am fortunate to be living alongside some very nice people, kind and supportive.

Spent time on the phone with my wonderful family, who all sounded happy today. That made me feel very good. I miss them.

Tonight I went to an evening yoga class filled wall to wall with people. Still I never felt crowded. As you often hear in classes, your mat is your place, and all that you need. Tonight that was very true. The class was challenging and cleansing, yet incredibly tranquil. Great music, too. Often times I find my mind just runs out of control despite my attempts to clear it. Tonight my mind felt more like 3am traffic flowing easily over a bridge. Cars spread out and moving but all in the same direction with plenty of space and no concern for collision.

After class I directed my sweat soaked body to the beach. My requisite beach bag is a bit depleted since I had used the towel earlier this week for yoga class so I just peeled off my sweatlogged t-shirt and walked down to the shore in my bathing suit, hoodie, and flip flops. The beach was pretty deserted. It was 6:15, with the sky darkening on an already misty, cloudy day. A very cheery, hippyish girl was walking up towards the boardwalk. Somehow she knew my intention and cautioned, "it's going to be fucking cold you know." "Most likely," I replied with a smile. I stared out at the waves for a few minutes. There was one lonely surfer to my left and to my right a ballerina like beauty running back and forth to the shore line in a flowing skirt as she kicked and twirled. I took off my sweatshirt and darted into the water, moving quickly with determination. After eight strides I launched forward in a surprisingly well coiled dive underneath an oncoming breaker. My body was charged from head to toe. I did not feel any cold. The other day by the lifeguard station they listed the water temperature at 65 degrees. Well the air temperature today was only about 64 degrees. The water is just as comforting as the air. It felt so good. A few arches and submersions and it was time to head back to the shore. The days are getting shorter and shorter. Today was a good day.

Time to go home and relax. What's on 60 Minutes?

Stand Down on 60 Minutes

Tonight marked the broadcast of the 60 Minutes profile on the annual Stand Down event. Of course, I discovered this by chance in Pacific Time, so the link is below for everyone to check it out.

However you may feel about the piece, you have to believe in the amazing intentions of the Stand Down program. It is disgraceful that our government cannot provide for those that serve to protect it. I was a bit thrown off by the focus on addiction for many of the displaced veterans. That comes across as a cop out seeing as we have lowered our standards for those fit to serve, and consequently we are getting younger recruits with less education, more likely a weaker family base, fewer opportunities, and then shipping them off to live under constant threat. Seems a bit unfair to then look down on somebody who develops a dependency.

This is another glaring example of the deterioration of America, not just the circumstances around us, but the attitude that we often ascribe them. We are becoming further isolated and detached from one another, and too many are getting swallowed up in the cracks. Meanwhile, the majority of our elected officials have been twiddling their thumbs waiting around for mid-term elections before they decide how to proceed. They have no understanding of what it means to hold office. America was founded on the power of the people, but it has become a place where the people are the last to be considered. How do we change it?

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6966795n&tag=contentMain;cbsCarousel

Waiting For A Break

This song is from one of my favorite movies, The Big Tease. A tale of showing up in LA with nothing, determined to find your way to the top. Speaks for itself.

..A Different Direction

Didn't get the part. No worries. The experience of today was valuable enough.

The Show Must Go On

Woke up very early this morning, after a very disruptive sleep. Felt lousy. It's been cloudy here all week long, today was not exception. I moved into the living room and thought about how I wasn't going to do anything today, that I was all alone and that nothing would happen. Of course I didn't like that thought. I didn't feel good, most likely from stress and lack of sleep. But I just kept telling myself that I have time, I have time, don't rush anything.

After a couple hours that included some intermittent sleep, I got up on my feet. Though I'd spent the morning pretty certain that I would blow off the audition I had scheduled for this afternoon, I suddenly decided that I was going to make it, even though I didn't have a second monologue memorized yet. I started to clean. I made tea. I moved the bed into a new spot, out from under the window. Checking my email, I saw I had some traction on from my resume sendouts. Looks like I have a couple interviews set up for next week. Bullshit commission based stuff, but both are one on ones and I figure it's worth the practice.

Though I'd picked out a second monologue a few days ago, I had yet to commit to memory, but I had read it over a few times. I figured I could use a section of the Blake scene in Glengarry Glen Ross as the back up. The more I was up and around, the better I felt. I practiced the two monologues sporadically as I went through my chores. With no iPod station, I was undeterred by music. Shaved, showered and kept reciting the speeches. Came out of the shower and put together a(n unimpressive) list of past acting credits. Went to a print shop in La Jolla to print out the resume and a self portrait I've had to use for a head shot. After that, onto San Diego State University.

I felt great. Comfortable, a bit excited. Parked in the garage and walked across the campus. People were very helpful directing me to the library. Once inside I took a minute to gather myself and then set off for the audition room. There were four kids holding the audition, director, producer, DP, sound editor. They all looked like children to me. Perhaps due to their context or out of naivete, they asked me what year I was. This made me smile. I was year 33, a solid decade past their arena. But they were all incredibly nice. The script was assigned to them, they'll use one day to shoot, one day for a back up, and then have two weeks to cut it together. I sat at a table across from them in this tiny corner room in the basement of the library, the digital video camera was up on a tripod in the corner. I did my two monologues, one seated, the other standing, and then did a read on some excerpts from the script. The DP filmed, the producer and sound editor watched, the director took notes, which were unobscured and maybe 20 inches in front of me. I glanced at his notes but didn't look too much in order to keep myself focused. He gave me some direction and had me do the excerpts a second time. They told me notices would go out in the evening. I thanked them for the opportunity and wished them the best of luck with the casting and the project.

Walked out and felt great. So glad I did not give into worry and doubt and waste my day wallowing in fear and frustration. Instead, I got out and made some stuff happen. Nothing will likely come of it, but I know that I did a good job. I have another audition lined up tomorrow. If I can't get interviews, I may as well try to get some exposure elsewhere. I'm still meeting people and going to different places. I'm tired of kicking around and standing in place. The fewer things I try, the fewer opportunities I give myself. Today proved to be a very good exercise. As Shakespeare said, 'the show must go on.'

Song to Share

As the computer with my iTunes library is still in need of an external hard drive, I have not added any new music to my collection since I left home back in June. With no new albums or playlists, I set my iPod on shuffle more often than not. Some days my shuffle is happy, and plays great dance music, other days it is depressed, and plays morose tragic music. As of last night, my docking station is out of order, so no music today. However, the other day, before the docking station went down, shuffle selected "Looking For A Rainbow" by Chris Rea. Great song that's stuck with me sense, as it relates to my situation. The video is entirely non-representative, but it's a good song.